Post 8: What Real Head Control Looks Like
Why Muscles Alone Can’t Hold the Head Up
What Real Head Control Looks Like
When we think of “head control,” the first image that often comes to mind is a child holding their head upright—no wobbles, no drops. It’s a milestone many families wait for, hope for, and are told to work toward.
But here's the truth: head control is not just about how long your child can keep their head up.
There’s so much more happening beneath the surface—and that deeper story can change the way you support your child.
For years, I believed that head control was all about muscle strength. That if we just helped the neck muscles get stronger, the head would eventually stay up. So we’d focus on lifting, on repetitions, on “tummy time” goals and timing how long the child could resist gravity.
But the more I worked with children with cerebral palsy, the more I realized this approach was incomplete.
If it were just about strength, we’d all be collapsing by the end of the day. Think about it—our heads are heavy! Yet we manage to hold them up all day long without even thinking about it.
Why? Because we’re not using our muscles to do the holding.
We’re using something much deeper, much quieter, and much more powerful.
The body holds itself through fascia—the connective tissue that surrounds, organizes, and supports everything inside us. I often describe it as “the jello that holds the fruits in place.” It gives the body its form. It separates the head from the neck, the neck from the chest, the chest from the abdomen.
When fascia is healthy and has the right tension and compression, the body holds its posture almost effortlessly.
That’s the secret to real head control. It’s not about asking the muscles to do all the work—it’s about restoring the natural structure that lets the head float, rest, and move freely.
And real head control isn’t just about staying upright.
It means the head can:
Turn without dragging the shoulders
Stay in the middle when lying down
Adjust with the eyes or mouth without throwing off the whole body
Tilt gently, rotate softly, respond to the environment
Move without compensation, without tricks, without strain
It’s not about “more effort.” It’s about more balance.
When the fascial system has collapsed—what we call “the jelly melting”—the whole body becomes a block. The head loses its independence. The child might rely on muscle tone, open their mouth wide, roll their eyes up, or arch their back just to find some kind of stability.
These are not random habits—they’re intelligent workarounds. But they tell us something important: the fascia is not supporting the structure like it should.
Let me share a few examples of what this can look like in real life:
A child who can only lift their head if they also push their legs straight and tighten their arms. The whole body moves as a unit because there’s no separation—no “give” in the structure.
A child who appears to have good head control but is always stuck in the same position. They’re holding it, yes—but it’s rigid, locked in place. There’s no freedom.
A child who opens their mouth wide when you ask them to look up. Try it yourself—open your mouth as wide as you can. Feel what happens in the back of your neck? That’s tension. It’s the body’s way of compensating when fascia isn’t offering support.
A child who can’t follow a toy with their eyes unless their head moves too. That tells us the fascia connecting the skull and the eyes isn’t letting them move independently.
These are subtle clues that the body is trying hard—but without the inner scaffolding it needs, it's relying on tricks and effort instead of flow and balance.
So what can we do?
We start by supporting the fascia. We help the body find tension again—the right kind of tension—not tightness, not force, but the gentle, organized pull that holds everything in place.
And one of the simplest tools to begin is our DIY neck support. It’s soft. It’s easy to make. And it’s designed to bring more balance to the neck and head—not by forcing the head upright, but by gently inviting the fascial system to wake up.
When a child wears it, here’s what often happens:
The head starts to feel lighter
The shoulders relax
Swallowing becomes easier
The back arches less
Eye contact becomes more intentional
It’s a small thing, but for many families, it’s the first time they see their child move with more ease—and less effort.
In the next post, you will find a free video class where I’ll walk you through:
What to look for when assessing head control
Why fascia matters more than muscle strength
How to use the neck support to start creating change—gently, from the inside out
If you haven’t made your own DIY neck support yet, you can watch the free tutorial here:
👉 Head Support Video Tutorial
Let this be your first step. Not toward holding the head up—but toward real, dynamic head control.
Because your child deserves to feel supported.
And you deserve to feel confident that you’re helping in the most meaningful way.
Ready to Start?
Take your first step into fascia therapy with our short, parent-friendly workshop:
The #1 Fascia Therapy To Improve Torso Control
Gentle, effective, and easy to begin—no experience needed.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you’re ready to fully embrace this gentle approach and receive personalized support, apply for TheraParent Coaching—our therapeutic coaching program designed for dedicated parents like you.
Includes weekly calls, a tailored plan, and a supportive community.
Apply here – it’s free to explore.
Stay connected and inspired every week.
Subscribe to our weekly blog updates and receive new posts, encouragement, and fascia therapy tips right in your inbox. So never miss the support and ideas that can make a difference in your journey.
